How do you respond to life? Do you trust your success to luck or circumstance? When something goes wrong, do you fret and fume, or do you accept that stuff happens and reorganize yourself? Do you have a clearly defined purpose or do you just muddle along? In short: Are you a winner or a loser?
Being a winner is an attitude, a way of life, a self-concept. It’s a head-up, full-speed ahead way of living and being. It’s wanting the ball at crunch time because you believe in yourself. It’s an expectation of success that you can master within yourself.
According to Denis Waitley, author of The Psychology of Winning (1986, Berkeley), winners possess 10 qualities:
Life is a self‐fulfilling prophecy. True winners exhibit exceptional levels of personal optimism and enthusiasm. They believe that one usually gets what one actively expects. A winner’s self‐talk is: “I was good today. I’ll be better tomorrow”. Losers say: “With my luck, I was bound to fail”.
True winners are confident and view themselves as competent, valuable human beings. They know that if in your self-image you can’t possibly see yourself doing something, you literally cannot do it! A winner’s self-talk is: “I see myself changing, growing, achieving and winning!” Losers say: “They are my hang-ups, faults and stupidities… and I’m stuck with them.”
Total winners accept 100% responsibility for cause and effect in their life. They realize they have the power to control many aspects in their life and understand the importance of self-control as a key for both mental and physical health. Winners say: “I take the credit or the blame for my performance.” Losers say: “I can’t understand why life did this to me.”
Positive self esteem
Your mood and outlook on life affect the way you see the world and how you interact in it. Total winners are positive, powerful people who make people feel good and provide a good vibe to those around them. Winning self-talk: “I do things well because I’m that kind of a person.” Losing self-talk: “I’d rather be somebody else.”
Total winners are aware of their power. They understand that they can be anything with enough effort and determination. As a result they can continuously not only “play from strength” in the game of life but also avoid errors and correct weaknesses. They don’t kid others and they don’t kid themselves. Winners say: “I know who I am, where I’m coming from and where I’m going” Losers say: “Who knows what I could do if I only had a chance”
Self-motivation stems from a winner’s self-expectancy and the awareness that although fear and desire are among the greatest motivators, fear is destructive while desire leads to achievement, success and happiness. They constantly focus on the rewards of success and actively tune out fears of failure. Winners say: “I want to… and I can!” Losers say: “I can’t because.”
You got to have direction if you are going to go anywhere. True winners know where they are heading. Their sense of direction comes from the self and not from outside influence. Winners say: “I have a plan to make it happen. I’ll do what’s necessary to get what I want.” Losers say “I’ll try to hang in there – muddle through the day somehow.”
Positive self‐discipline is the ability to practice within. It is the power to practice a technique over and over again until it is flawless. Winners know they have to discipline themselves otherwise someone else will discipline them into doing what they want. Winning self‐talk: “Of course I can do it. I’ve practiced it mentally a thousand times.” Losing self‐talk: “How can you expect me to do it? I don’t know how.”
Winners have learned to know themselves thoroughly and have learned to see themselves through the eyes of others. They learn from the past, plan for the future, and live as fully as possible in the present. Winners say: “I live every moment, enjoying as much, relating as much, doing as much and giving as much as I possibly can.” Losers say: “I am only concerned with me.”
Winners project their best selves every day in the way they look, walk, talk, listen and react. They specialize in truly effective communication. They assume 100% responsibility for communicating information and for receiving information. Winners say: “Tell me what you want, maybe we can work together.” Losers say: “There’s no point in discussing it, we’re not even on the same wave length.”
This all looks fine and dandy – but what should I do now, you might ask? Well, until intelligent thought is linked with appropriate action and follow‐through, there is no real accomplishment. Once you have grasped the action technique and how to apply it – ACT. Put it to work in your daily life. Progress may seem slow at the beginning, but remember that you are building something significant: a successful human life.